Consider the apple. Apples is round. Well, they sorta round. I guess they more of a couple uh ovals stacked all up on one another. But that ain’t even right, as they usually side by side! An that don’t even hold up what with apples bein so damn misshapen what with wind and trees and critters always gettin after em while they jus tryin to grow and suck up some uh the sunlight when they can.
THEY JUS TRYIN TO LIVE. AN THESE DAMN CRITTERS ALWAYS TRYIN TO TEAR EM OFF THEY NICE WOODEN PERCHES! We gotta do somethin about these critters, imma tell you RIGHT NOW and I got an idea. Load Ole Sawtooth up with a pitchfork or 2, and imma javelin they little asses RIGHT OUT THE TREES. You ever tasted squirrel meat? Imma tell you, it’s terrible, but if you apply a little fire to it, it come out alright. AN HOW BETTER TO APPLY FLAME THEN WHEN IT HANGIN FROM A PITCHFORK. Easy peasey, eat a squirrel. That don’t rhyme. Anyway, lets get to the recipe.
SAWTOOTHS SQUIRREL N APPLE PIE
1 Squirrel (in a tree)
1 Apple tree (with squirrel within)
JAVELIN SQUIRREL WHILE ITS REACHIN FOR AN APPLE
ROAST THAT LITTLE TURD OVER AN OPEN FIRE FOR 25 MINUTES
SERVE WITH PEPPER JELLY
Jus like Momma used to make.